They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist....
Gen. John Sedgewick
No matter where you go, there you are.
Trust no one. Not even yourself.
Stalin
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
Gen. George S. Patton
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change ready.
Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
The law of gross tonnage always applies.
Politicians are like diapers. Both should be changed regularly & for the same reason.
If at first you don't succeed call in an air strike.
Happiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others.
The First Amendment guarantees your right to freedom of speech. It doesn't say anything about anybody having to listen to you.
Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Failure isn't falling down, it's staying down.
The only rule without exception is the rule that states there are no rules without exceptions.
Pliny the Elder
Old Age and Treachery will always overcome Youth and Skill.
Candy corn is not a vegetable.
If I told you once, I told you a million times, don't exaggerate!
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else-you are the one who gets burned.
Buddha
We will always remember. We will always be proud. We will always be prepared, so we may always be free.
Ronald Reagan
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
It makes sense. Not to me, but it makes sense.
Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat him as he could be, and he will become what he should be.
Jimmy Johnson
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
Gen. George S. Patton
Never argue with your spuse when she's packing your parachute.
Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat him as he could be, and he will become what he should be.
Jimmy Johnson
Those who expect to reap he blessings of Freedom must undergo the fatigue of supporting it.
Thomas Paine
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
The blackest lie is a lie that is half a truth.
When companies ship Styrofoam peanuts, what do they pack it in?
Perfection is our goal. Excellence will be tolerated.
Don't wait for your ship to come in, swim out to it!
Alcohol and calculus don't mix Don't Drink and Derive.
There is a race between engineers making things more idiot proof and the Universe building bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
The only problem with government of the people, by the people and for the people is that we get billed for it in triplicate.
Trust no one. Not even yourself.
Stalin
Don't wait for your ship to come in, swim out to it!
You know you're getting cynical when you look at a prospective mate and say, 'Is this the person I want my kids to spend every other weekend with?'
The attempt to silence a man is the greatest honor you can bestow on him. It means that you recognize his superiority over yourself.
Joseph Sobran
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
A mans grasp should extend beyond his reach.
'We don't have the First Amendment, thank God, in Canada.'
Tim Collings, V-chip inventor
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!
A Conservative is a Liberal who was mugged.
If something doesn't work, don't do it harder; do something different.
Never argue with your spuse when she's packing your parachute.
The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.
