I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.
The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.
Teddy Roosevelt
He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
Trust no one. Not even yourself.
Stalin
Don't judge a book by its movie.
Government is not a solution to our problem, government is the problem.
Ronald Reagan
Only in America will you find the Department of the Interior in charge of everything that's outside.
If at first you don't succeed call in an air strike.
An optimist believes this is the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears this to be true.
A Conservative is a Liberal who was mugged.
Lord, make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
If I told you once, I told you a million times, don't exaggerate!
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
Society is safer when the criminals don't know who's armed.
Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Congress: If it moves, tax it. If it still moves, regulate it. If it stops moving, subsidize it.
If Yoda so strong in the force is, why words in the right order he cannot put?
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change ready.
Today’s Original Recipe is tomorrow's Extra Crispy.
Cole’s Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
'We don't have the First Amendment, thank God, in Canada.'
Tim Collings, V-chip inventor
Candy corn is not a vegetable.
Don't wait for your ship to come in, swim out to it!
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
Talk is cheap - until lawyers get involved.
Today’s Original Recipe is tomorrow's Extra Crispy.
Claustrophobia: A Texan in Rhode Island.
If you are outnumbered, attack. It confuses them and drives their force inward.
Jedi Proverb
In the beginning of Change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, however, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
Mark Twain
The smartest person in the world does not know everything. They know where to find the information they need.
The early bird might get the worm, but it's the night owl that gets the tequila.
The blackest lie is a lie that is half a truth.
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!
When companies ship Styrofoam peanuts, what do they pack it in?
The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Appeasers believe that if you keep on throwing steaks to a tiger, the tiger will become a vegetarian.
Heywood Broun
The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.
Patrick Henry
Trust no one. Not even yourself.
Stalin
Happiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others.
A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away.
Barry Goldwater
The best defensive driving system I have found to date is a passenger leaning out the window with a shotgun.
Time is Natures way of making sure everything doesn’t all happen at once.
Never argue with your spuse when she's packing your parachute.