Got this from a friend, and I thought I would share it.
We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note… these are all numbered “1″ On Purpose!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria ’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere in a hurry, absolutely anything you wear is fine. REALLY!
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

No, it didn’t go that badly. In fact, the feedback I got from a friend who talked with the interviewer later was that “We may not be able to pay enough.” This can be good news, or bad news. My friend and I are still working on his boss, we are doing everything but blackmailing him to get this job. All of the other applicants have absolutely no experience, so it’s a shoo-in for me, as long as the income hurdle can be overcome.
I’m holding my hopes up. Please continue to think happy thoughts for me.

Well, I’m two hours away from a job interview. What makes this one important is the company I am applying to is one that I have worked at before. I am friends with the guy who took my job after I left, and I have been helping him on service calls over the past two weeks. Let’s hope not only that I get this job, but at a pay amount that I can afford to live on. I want desperately to get off disability, but the sticking point is the health care for the family. That’s going to be the expensive part and boosted my salary requirements drastically.
Wish me luck. I’m going in.

Here you go. For those of you too lazy to even get up and go to the fridge to get your beer (or any other 12oz drink for that matter).


The Hole – video powered by Metacafe

I’ve come up with another reason why I’m not posting very much: I’m studying.
The bad thing about my resume is that I have no industry qualifications. I’ve been hired and then tossed into the deep end of the pool and expected to sink or swim. That’s not the problem, I always float to the top.
But I want to get back into Information Technology, and I want to make sure I’ll get a job that’s in demand. So, I’m studying for a couple of tests.
First of all, is the A+ test. This is one that I already know most everything about, and this test should be easy. It’s just what an average tech with 6 months experience under his belt should know. This one I’m not really worried about. If I get it, that’s great, if I (unlikely) fail it, it’s not the end of the world.
The one that I really want is the CCNA, or Cisco Certified Network Associate. This one works with routers and networks, and will open a lot of doors for me. This test will be the ball buster.
Another problem is that the cost of both of these tests are over $100, and that is the problem. I don’t really have that kind of cash to spare. I’m almost ready to take the A+ exam, and I could certainly use some donations. Please click the PayPal button to the right and donate some cash. $10 would go a long way in my world.
I just received a $200 gift certificate to Amazon, and it was gone within the hour. I ordered some router simulation software, and several other books that should help my studying. I have the tools, I just don’t have the money to take the test.
Thanks for any help.

I know I’m a little late with this, but I’ve already given you the reasons why in the post above.
It seems that Al Gore, the man who used to be the next President of the United States, is in large part a hypocrite. But then again, what news is that? Here’s his latest blunder.
He preaches that us peons use hybrid cars, mass transit where available, florescent light bulbs, and most of all, just in general cut back on energy useage.
Rules for thee, but not for me and all that crap. It turns out Gores’ house in Nashville uses 20 times the national average in utilities. In other words, he’s an energy hog. It’s okay for him to live in a big fancy house and use up lots of energy living in it, but it’s not okay for us regular folk.
Oh, but it’s different for him! He’s buying “carbon offsets” where trees are planted in his name to compensate for his rather large “carbon footprint.” But, like most Liberals, it’s a scam. He’s buying his carbon offsets from a company he owns. So he’s not really doing anything but consuming large chunks of energy and telling us from his plantation on the hill that we need to do more.
Yeah, right.