No matter where you go, there you are.
An optimist believes this is the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears this to be true.
It makes sense. Not to me, but it makes sense.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Two feet on the ground is better than one in the mouth.
Candy corn is not a vegetable.
A hammer sometimes misses its mark -- a bouquet never.
Claustrophobia: A Texan in Rhode Island.
Today’s Original Recipe is tomorrow's Extra Crispy.
Time is Natures way of making sure everything doesn’t all happen at once.
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
Gen. George S. Patton
We must remember that a right lost to one is lost to all.
William Ralph Inge
The only problem with government of the people, by the people and for the people is that we get billed for it in triplicate.
Today’s Original Recipe is tomorrow's Extra Crispy.
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Trust no one. Not even yourself.
Stalin
Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine.'
Bob Hope
The early bird might get the worm, but it's the night owl that gets the tequila.
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. >> Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
Skydiving - good till the last drop.
Annoy a Liberal: Use Facts and Logic, Work, succeed, be armed, protect your family, cherish your Freedoms, don’t rely on the god of Government.
You know you're getting cynical when you look at a prospective mate and say, 'Is this the person I want my kids to spend every other weekend with?'
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
'Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.'
James Heironimus, PHD
Congress: If it moves, tax it. If it still moves, regulate it. If it stops moving, subsidize it.
When you lend your power to someone else, there is nothing to prevent them from using it against you.
If you are outnumbered, attack. It confuses them and drives their force inward.
Jedi Proverb
An armed society is a polite society.
Whatever crushes individuality is despotism, by whatever name it may be called.
John Stuart Mill
Alcohol and calculus don't mix Don't Drink and Derive.
A Conservative is a Liberal who was mugged.
Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut.
Robert Newton Peck
When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves.
George Pataki
Time is Natures way of making sure everything doesn’t all happen at once.
The nine scariest words in the English language are 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
Ronald Reagan
In the beginning of Change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, however, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
Mark Twain
It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
Will Rodgers
We will always remember. We will always be proud. We will always be prepared, so we may always be free.
Ronald Reagan
Most people eat as though they were fattening themselves for market.
Happiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others.
An armed citizenry, willing to fight, is the foundation of civil freedom.
Robert A. Heinlein
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else-you are the one who gets burned.
Buddha
Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut.
Robert Newton Peck
A bachelor is a man who has never chased a woman he could not outrun.
The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.
It makes sense. Not to me, but it makes sense.
Old Age and Treachery will always overcome Youth and Skill.