Only in America will you find the Department of the Interior in charge of everything that's outside.
A hammer sometimes misses its mark -- a bouquet never.
An optimist believes this is the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears this to be true.
The Chinese ideogram for 'trouble' is 'two women under one roof'.
It makes sense. Not to me, but it makes sense.
Congress: If it moves, tax it. If it still moves, regulate it. If it stops moving, subsidize it.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius
No man's life, liberty or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no law, no court, no constitution can save it.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist....
Gen. John Sedgewick
An armed citizenry, willing to fight, is the foundation of civil freedom.
Robert A. Heinlein
Politicians are like diapers. Both should be changed regularly & for the same reason.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
It's okay to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.
Those who expect to reap he blessings of Freedom must undergo the fatigue of supporting it.
Thomas Paine
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
You know you're getting old when your vices become habits.
Did you ever notice that anybody who drives faster than you is a maniac and anybody who drives slower than you is an idiot?
George Carlin
In the beginning of Change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, however, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
Mark Twain
A Conservative is a Liberal who was mugged.
If you are outnumbered, attack. It confuses them and drives their force inward.
Jedi Proverb
It's okay to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.
When you lend your power to someone else, there is nothing to prevent them from using it against you.
The attempt to silence a man is the greatest honor you can bestow on him. It means that you recognize his superiority over yourself.
Joseph Sobran
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Two feet on the ground is better than one in the mouth.
An armed society is a polite society.
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
Jesus saves, Allah protects, Cthulhu thinks you’d make a nice sandwich.
If Yoda so strong in the force is, why words in the right order he cannot put?
The law of gross tonnage always applies.
The blackest lie is a lie that is half a truth.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix Don't Drink and Derive.
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a Light Side, a Dark Side and it holds the Universe together.
Talk is cheap - until lawyers get involved.
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
Winston Churchill
It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
If God had intended for man to go about naked, we would have been born without clothes on.
If I told you once, I told you a million times, don't exaggerate!
If Yoda so strong in the force is, why words in the right order he cannot put?
A collaborator is someone who feeds his friends to the alligator, hoping he will be eaten last.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
The only problem with government of the people, by the people and for the people is that we get billed for it in triplicate.
If something doesn't work, don't do it harder; do something different.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.