The attempt to silence a man is the greatest honor you can bestow on him. It means that you recognize his superiority over yourself.
Joseph Sobran
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change ready.
Only in America will you find the Department of the Interior in charge of everything that's outside.
The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.
Franz Kafka
It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius
Skydiving - good till the last drop.
A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away.
Barry Goldwater
Be wary of strong Drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors - and miss.
Happiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others.
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
'We don't have the First Amendment, thank God, in Canada.'
Tim Collings, V-chip inventor
The smartest person in the world does not know everything. They know where to find the information they need.
Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no law, no court, no constitution can save it.
The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.
Patrick Henry
Talk is cheap - until lawyers get involved.
I love my Country, I fear my Government.
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!
If the Government is big enough to give you everything you want, it is big enough to take away everything you have.
Gerald Ford
The only rule without exception is the rule that states there are no rules without exceptions.
Pliny the Elder
When you lend your power to someone else, there is nothing to prevent them from using it against you.
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
Gen. George S. Patton
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a Light Side, a Dark Side and it holds the Universe together.
Whatever crushes individuality is despotism, by whatever name it may be called.
John Stuart Mill
The early bird might get the worm, but it's the night owl that gets the tequila.
The law of gross tonnage always applies.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix Don't Drink and Derive.
An armed society is a polite society.
The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.
Don't wait for your ship to come in, swim out to it!
Today’s Original Recipe is tomorrow's Extra Crispy.
Society is safer when the criminals don't know who's armed.
Government is not a solution to our problem, government is the problem.
Ronald Reagan
You know you're getting old when your vices become habits.
When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves.
George Pataki
The only problem with government of the people, by the people and for the people is that we get billed for it in triplicate.
Necessity is the plea of every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.
William Pitt
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Did you ever notice that anybody who drives faster than you is a maniac and anybody who drives slower than you is an idiot?
George Carlin
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
'Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.'
James Heironimus, PHD
Eunuch: A man who has had his works cut out for him.
Toni Hinton
Never argue with your spuse when she's packing your parachute.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.
Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.
When companies ship Styrofoam peanuts, what do they pack it in?