Be wary of strong Drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors - and miss.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change ready.
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
To a Believer no proof is necessary. To a Skeptic no amount of proof is sufficient.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
Whatever crushes individuality is despotism, by whatever name it may be called.
John Stuart Mill
Perfection is our goal. Excellence will be tolerated.
Candy corn is not a vegetable.
When you lend your power to someone else, there is nothing to prevent them from using it against you.
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at in times of challenge and controversy.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
No weapon in the arsenals of the world is as powerful as the will and courage of a free people.
Ronald Reagan
Happiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others.
Those who expect to reap he blessings of Freedom must undergo the fatigue of supporting it.
Thomas Paine
Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat him as he could be, and he will become what he should be.
Jimmy Johnson
In the beginning of Change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, however, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
Mark Twain
The blackest lie is a lie that is half a truth.
Skydiving - good till the last drop.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
Politicians are like diapers. Both should be changed regularly & for the same reason.
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
You know you're getting cynical when you look at a prospective mate and say, 'Is this the person I want my kids to spend every other weekend with?'
An optimist believes this is the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears this to be true.
If the Government is big enough to give you everything you want, it is big enough to take away everything you have.
Gerald Ford
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Society is safer when the criminals don't know who's armed.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Old Age and Treachery will always overcome Youth and Skill.
Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and success of Liberty.
John F. Kennedy
Annoy a Liberal: Use Facts and Logic, Work, succeed, be armed, protect your family, cherish your Freedoms, don’t rely on the god of Government.
'The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something... because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They're there to stop the other people.'
Randy Pausch
The only problem with government of the people, by the people and for the people is that we get billed for it in triplicate.
No matter where you go, there you are.
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it.
General H. Norman Schwarzkopf
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Never argue with your spuse when she's packing your parachute.
It's okay to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.
Society is safer when the criminals don't know who's armed.
Claustrophobia: A Texan in Rhode Island.
We must remember that a right lost to one is lost to all.
William Ralph Inge
'We don't have the First Amendment, thank God, in Canada.'
Tim Collings, V-chip inventor
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. >> Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
The law of gross tonnage always applies.
Appeasers believe that if you keep on throwing steaks to a tiger, the tiger will become a vegetarian.
Heywood Broun