A collaborator is someone who feeds his friends to the alligator, hoping he will be eaten last.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
The more laws, the less justice.
Cicero
If God had intended for man to go about naked, we would have been born without clothes on.
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
A Conservative is a Liberal who was mugged.
You know you're in trouble when you have a wife, a girlfriend, and a note from the bank... All a month overdue.
Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut.
Robert Newton Peck
You know you're in trouble when you have a wife, a girlfriend, and a note from the bank... All a month overdue.
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
Never pull the same trick twice, unless they are expecting it. Then pull the same trick twice.
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
No matter where you go, there you are.
The attempt to silence a man is the greatest honor you can bestow on him. It means that you recognize his superiority over yourself.
Joseph Sobran
some pains are physical, and some are mental, the one that's both, is dental
e e cummings
There is a race between engineers making things more idiot proof and the Universe building bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Happiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others.
You know you're getting old when your vices become habits.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
Lord, make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
Candy corn is not a vegetable.
An armed society is a polite society.
If the Government is big enough to give you everything you want, it is big enough to take away everything you have.
Gerald Ford
A hammer sometimes misses its mark -- a bouquet never.
Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
Jesus saves, Allah protects, Cthulhu thinks you’d make a nice sandwich.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix Don't Drink and Derive.
We must remember that a right lost to one is lost to all.
William Ralph Inge
A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away.
Barry Goldwater
A bacon & egg breakfast illustrates the difference between involvement & commitment. The chicken is involved. The pig is committed.
The attempt to silence a man is the greatest honor you can bestow on him. It means that you recognize his superiority over yourself.
Joseph Sobran
A mans grasp should extend beyond his reach.
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at in times of challenge and controversy.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Thank God for the IRS. Without them I’d be stinking rich!
'We don't have the First Amendment, thank God, in Canada.'
Tim Collings, V-chip inventor
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
Gen. George S. Patton
We will always remember. We will always be proud. We will always be prepared, so we may always be free.
Ronald Reagan
some pains are physical, and some are mental, the one that's both, is dental
e e cummings
Avoid clichés like the plague.
My idea of fast food is an elk.
Ted Nugent
My idea of fast food is an elk.
Ted Nugent
Never argue with your spuse when she's packing your parachute.
When companies ship Styrofoam peanuts, what do they pack it in?
The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
A mans grasp should extend beyond his reach.
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
Cole’s Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.