Jesus saves, Allah protects, Cthulhu thinks you’d make a nice sandwich.
The nine scariest words in the English language are 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
Ronald Reagan
The blackest lie is a lie that is half a truth.
If you are outnumbered, attack. It confuses them and drives their force inward.
Jedi Proverb
If the Government is big enough to give you everything you want, it is big enough to take away everything you have.
Gerald Ford
Only in America will you find the Department of the Interior in charge of everything that's outside.
Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.
E. M. Forster
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a Light Side, a Dark Side and it holds the Universe together.
Time is Natures way of making sure everything doesn’t all happen at once.
The law of gross tonnage always applies.
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. >> Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
The only problem with government of the people, by the people and for the people is that we get billed for it in triplicate.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
If something doesn't work, don't do it harder; do something different.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change ready.
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Don't wait for your ship to come in, swim out to it!
The smartest person in the world does not know everything. They know where to find the information they need.
Two feet on the ground is better than one in the mouth.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.
A bachelor is a man who has never chased a woman he could not outrun.
Avoid clichés like the plague.
Eunuch: A man who has had his works cut out for him.
Toni Hinton
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
My idea of fast food is an elk.
Ted Nugent
Only in America will you find the Department of the Interior in charge of everything that's outside.
Society is safer when the criminals don't know who's armed.
The man who gives in when he is wrong is wise. The man who gives in when he is right is married.
Those who expect to reap he blessings of Freedom must undergo the fatigue of supporting it.
Thomas Paine
The best defensive driving system I have found to date is a passenger leaning out the window with a shotgun.
Disney World - a people trap operated by a mouse.
You know you're getting old when your vices become habits.
'Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.'
James Heironimus, PHD
Don't judge a book by its movie.
A Conservative is a Liberal who was mugged.
No matter where you go, there you are.
Did you ever notice that anybody who drives faster than you is a maniac and anybody who drives slower than you is an idiot?
George Carlin
Don't judge a book by its movie.
Trust no one. Not even yourself.
Stalin
A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away.
Barry Goldwater
If something doesn't work, don't do it harder; do something different.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
An armed society is a polite society.
The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.
Teddy Roosevelt
Alcohol and calculus don't mix Don't Drink and Derive.
We will always remember. We will always be proud. We will always be prepared, so we may always be free.
Ronald Reagan
