I hate passive-aggressiveness. Hate it, hate it, hate it. That being said, there are times when this is the proper course of action.
I have an acquaintenance who has been deemed “extremely mission-critical” by his boss. This man is so essential to business, he is to show up to work if he is sick, where his boss will make the determination if he is sick enough or not. If he is “sick enough,” he will be sent to the doctor to be trated and for a note.
Abraham Lincoln, in Star Trek TOS remarked, “You should give your opponent what he wants, just not the way he wants it.”
So, I had the following thought exercise.
DISCLAIMER: I do not advocate the actual execution of this suggested course of action, or any variation thereof.
First of all, you should create a situation where you have to stand over your boss. Be scratching your scalp constantly during this situation. When the boss asks about your scratching, remark, “Sorry I didn’t tell you. My daughter came home with head lice and we are all infested.”
So, boss man panics, as he thinks you have been dumping lice on him. He orders you to the doctor.
You return the next day with the following note, signed by your doctor:
To whom it may concern:
Let me be plain and say upfront that you are an idiot. You have unnecessarily exposed my patients to this condition, and unnecessarily exposed your employee and his family to serious illnesses from my other patients when his condition could be treated at home with OTC treatments in order for him to obtain this note.
You have also wasted my time, taking it away from my other patients to draft this note.
You may, therefore, consider this an invoice from my office for the amount of $100 for my time to draft this doctors note.
This is further notice if I have to repeat this unnecessary action for any of your employees, I will invoice your company $500 per letter.
Thank you. Have a nice day.
By the way, I used to read George Hayduke way back when.